Are you ready for a little tough love today?
Let’s talk about asking for help. Or more to the point, not asking for help.
I bet you think you’re doing your family and friends a favor when you try to do it all (even to the point of making yourself nuts in the process.)
Well let me tell you something. You’re not. You’re certainly not doing yourself any favors, but you’re not doing them any favors either.
You’re especially not doing them any favors if you put on your martyr attitude and walk around sighing heavily about everything you have to do.
And you’re not doing them any favors if you stretch yourself to the breaking point. By which I mean that moment you lose it in total frustration and stand there screaming (or crying), “What do I have to do to get a little help around here???”
While this may certainly get your family’s attention, they will probably be confused by your outburst and at least as frustrated as you are.
Here’s a newsflash for you: the people around you can’t read your mind. No matter how much they love you and would like to know what you need, they just can’t do it unless you tell them.
I think this is hard for many women to grasp, because we’ve spent so many years watching the people we love so carefully that we are often able to predict what they will want and need- sometimes even before they do- and arranging our lives so as to meet these needs.
But just because they can’t read your mind and do the thing that needs doing without being asked, doesn’t mean that they don’t want (or aren’t willing) to help.
Refusing to ask (because let’s face it- sometimes that’s just what it is!) is not only counter-productive, it can be downright obnoxious.
Every time you say to yourself, “But they should know what I need. I shouldn’t have to ask,” you’re setting yourself and the people you love up for failure and disappointment.
So let’s stop that self-righteous refusal to ask for help shall we?
OK. Good.
But what if you’ve tried asking for help and gotten nowhere?
I’ve been there too and if there’s anything more frustrating than not getting help because you failed to ask for it, it would have to be asking for help and still not getting it.
I’m sure we’ve all been there and done that. And it stinks.
In this podcast, I talk about how to ask for help in a way that ensures you’ll actually get what you want. It’s not rocket science, but I’ll bet that by making a few minor tweaks to your requests, you’ll be a lot more satisfied with the results and that much further away from Holiday Overwhelm!
Please listen and tell me what you think!
Was there anything that surprised you in this audio? I’d love to hear what it was! Please share in the comments!
