Playing to Your Strengths

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Play to Your Strengths in 2010

Where your pleasure is, there is your treasure;Where your treasure, there your heart;Where  your heart, there your happiness.

St. Augustine

Well folks can you stand one more post on resolutions/intentions/goals (or the rejecting thereof)?

I wasn’t going to do it.  Really I wasn’t.  There are so many good posts already written like the ones here, and here.  I wasn’t sure I really had anything to add to the conversation.

But in a fit of New Year’s tidying of my desk, I ran across a note I’d jotted down some time ago.  And then I just couldn’t not write about it.

The note I found was my paraphrase of someone else’s take on Markus Buckingham… I can’t find the exact quote- which is driving the academic in me crazy, but here’s the gist of it:

• A strength is something you do that makes you feel stronger, vital.
• A weakness is the stuff you do that makes you feel weakened.

Can you see why I couldn’t resist writing about this as my first post of 2010?

Here’s my invitation:  what if this year, we played to our strengths instead of trying to shore up our weaknesses?

Think about it for just a minute.  Most of the time New Year’s resolutions focus our attention on our weaknesses.  They focus on deficiencies.   Lack.  What we want but don’t have.

Pondering which resolutions to set has us looking at our faults like teenagers scrutinizing every square inch of our face in the 3X mirror.  Uggh.  Doesn’t that sound like fun??

And then once we’ve identified the areas in which we are most in need of improvement, we’re supposed to be enthusiastic and motivated to do something to change it.

Honestly, this model has never worked for me.  Not that I can’t find plenty of things I’d like to change about myself or my life.  But on the rare occasion I’ve managed to make resolutions, and the even rarer occasions on which I can find said resolutions after the middle of January (with  “get organized”  often number one.  No I’m not kidding!)  I find that they are about as appealing as the flat champagne that’s still in the fridge from New Year’s Eve.

When I think to myself about “getting organized”  I feel like Superman in the presence of Kryptonite.  My arms feel like lead, my brain goes foggy and suddenly a nap seems like a really good idea.

Talk about feeling weakened!

Now I realize that what’s true for me may not be true for you… so if that way of going about things works for you, helps you do what you want to do and live a happy life- rock on.  I’m not gonna tell you to stop.

But what if we thought about doing things just a little differently?

What if this year we thought about playing to our strengths?

Doing things, spending time with people, going places that made us feel stronger, gave us more energy, made us feel more alive?

Wow.  That sounds like a lot more fun to me.
For at least a minute, because right behind this thought comes the resistance.  Those voices from the past, from the culture, from religion saying thing like:

• Life isn’t all fun and games you know.
• No one ever said success was easy- it takes hard work.
• You’ll never accomplish anything that way.

(Got any thoughts of your own to add to this list?)

Do we think our accomplishments don’t count if they aren’t accompanied by great suffering?

If we have fun doing them?

If we actually like it?

Hmmm…

Possibility number one:

Whatever your goal is, is there a way to get there by playing to your strengths instead of shoring up your weaknesses?

For instance, if you wanted to lose weight or build cardio fitness, you could achieve the same goal by running or tap-dancing.  Which one sounds like more fun?  Which one would you look forward to doing a few times a week?  Which one would strengthen YOU?

Can you use the energy of the group class to motivate you, or is the meditative solitude of running what you really crave?

Whatever your personal goals, there might be a way to get there that’s easier, more fun, and more in alignment with your particular strengths than the path the ‘experts’ would have you take.

And this sounds like much more fun than gutting it out on sheer willpower.  (Which apparently doesn’t work!)

But I’m talking about something beyond using your strengths to reach your goals.

Possibility number two:

I’m talking about having a goal to use your strengths.

For example, teaching is one of my super-powers.  It lets me use lots of my other strengths, skills and talents.

I get to use my brains, my creativity, my communication skills, my compassion, my intuition, my sense of humor and my sometimes overwhelming enthusiasm.  I get to collaborate with others and build community.

Interestingly enough, when I’m playing to my strengths, my perennial challenges of organization and procrastination are much less evident and much less troublesome.
The simple fact is that there’s only so long I can put off preparing for class because sooner or later, the bell rings (metaphorically speaking of course!) and I’m on!

And because I care so much about my students and my material, I usually manage to handle the organizational side of things without too much agony.

Nothing lights me up like watching someone get it.  And even better is when I’m working with a group and the sparks are flying, people are making connections with the ideas, with each other and most of all, with themselves and their own lives.

These are the days I know I’m doing exactly what I was put on this planet to do and I go to bed with a satisfied smile on my face.

But really, isn’t this all just a bit indulgent?  Aren’t there more important things than being happy?  What about all the bad stuff going on in the world?  All the people that need food, shelter, medical care?  And then there’s the environment…  not to mention the horrific situation in (fill in the blank).

I get it.  I’m a bona fide bleeding heart.  The troubles of others in the world definitely count for something.  But I think I’ve finally figured out that I can’t ease another’s suffering by suffering myself.  Not that I won’t continue to learn this lesson, but this rings true for me….

One last quote for the day:

Don’t ask what the world needs.  Ask yourself what makes you come alive and go do it.  Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.

Howard Thurman

My intention for 2010 is to come alive as fully as I can, and to help as many moms as I can to do the same.

Watch this space for coming attractions!

So now it’s your turn.  I know you have amazing strengths- things that make you come alive.  Which ones will you play to in this new year?  What do you think that will look like?  Please share in the comments!

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