Well as evidenced by the space between posts these days, my summer is at least as disorganized as yours! Maybe even more!
This post started as a reply to the comments in the previous post, but took on a life of its own. So here goes.
The big bullet point for today: Summer. Is. Different.
I know. Sounds obvious, right? But if you carry the same expectations of yourself and your kids that you had in the spring into the summer, you’re setting yourself up for a lot of frustration and disappointment.
Acceptance is the first step…
I stole this line from a friend who stole it from AA. But the funny thing is that acceptance doesn’t necessarily mean what you think it means.
“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one”
Albert Einstein
Now I’m a philosopher so you don’t really want to get me started on the nature of reality! (or if there is any such thing!) But it is pretty clear to me that a lot of us make our lives more difficult than necessary when we fail to see and react to what the world is actually giving us, instead of what we wish or think the world ought to be giving us.
Only when we acknowledge what’s really happening do we have any chance of responding effectively. This is especially the case when we don’t like what’s happening or things aren’t going as we hoped or planned for them to go.
So it makes a lot of sense to notice what’s actually going on in your world instead of what you think ‘should’ be going on.
Maybe you think your kids ‘should’ be able to play by themselves without interrupting you for longer than 10 minutes. Or maybe you think they ‘should’ get their chores done or do their summer reading without being nagged reminded.
Maybe you think you ‘should’ be able to get the house cleaned and dinner made, or that you ‘should’ be able to get that project taken care of (cleaning out the basement? Finishing your 8 year old’s baby book?)
Clarify your own expectations
The first thing to do is to take a few minutes and think about what your expectations are for yourself, your kids, your husband, etc. If you think you don’t have any- notice the times throughout the day when you feel annoyed, frustrated or irritated. Chances are, there’s some expectation you have that’s not being met.
Don’t beat yourself (or anyone else)up over it, just notice it.
That’s about enough for today- next time, I’ll have some suggestions for what to do once you’ve noticed what expectations you’re carrying around.
Until then, please chime in… what expectations do you have (that are perhaps being frustrated this summer?)
Please share in the comments!
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