It’s such a cliché that kids grow up fast.
In the season of graduations and such, some of the transitions are clear and sharply defined. These tend to be those associated with ‘official’ categories of one sort or another. The pre-schooler heads off to kindergarten. The 6th grader to middle school. And so on.
Traditional communities, including religious traditions have rituals that mark the different stages of life- moving from childhood into adolescence and then adulthood. In our contemporary and largely secular way of life, we’ve lost some of these markers for the different phases of life.
I’m interested in this because my son turned ten in December and since then it’s been more and more apparent that he’s no longer a little kid
Some of it is physical.
All of his classmates look so much bigger and older all of a sudden. The girls are developing and the boys are growing like weeds. AJ is up to my shoulders now, and we’re taking bets on when he’ll be taller than me. Right now his feet are nearly as big as mine, so I’m sure it won’t be long.
But the physical changes are only the tip of the iceberg.
Other signs that he’s no longer my ‘little boy’:
- He closes the bathroom door.
- If I want to kiss him goodbye before school, it has to be in the parking lot, NOT on the playground.
- I think he’s hearing dirty jokes from his friends. I’m not sure if I want to know what they are or not!
- It’s hard to tell his t-shirts from mine.
He smells. His friends smell.
One night not too long ago he had a friend sleeping over. Finally it got quiet in his room and went to check that they were really asleep. As I opened the door, I had to laugh because the room was filled with eau de stinky boy. And I realized that it was going to get worse and not better for the next few years!
He’s managing parts of his life on his own
Not too long ago, he was in the shower and realized that he didn’t have a towel. Instead of calling for help he dried off with a hand towel.
When he wanted to play a more advanced song in his violin recital, I told him he could talk to his teacher about it. And he did. We called the teacher up and I handed the phone to AJ. He calmly and confidently explained to the teacher that wanted to play a different piece. They talked for a few minutes and the teacher agreed. He busted his butt to learn the new piece in time for the recital and surprised his teacher with how quickly he was able to get it up to performance quality.
Other people are treating him differently
For many years, the hostess would automatically bring a kid’s menu to our table. Lately they’ve been asking if we need one. If it’s one of those places that has a ‘big kids’ menu, sometimes he’ll order something from there, otherwise, he orders from the regular menu.
His doctor asked him if he wanted me to stay while she examined his private parts. This time he said yes. I imagine it may be the last year he does. She didn’t even offer him a sticker afterwards, and I’m pretty sure he would have declined.
The latest: when I took him to the dentist last week, and the hygienist gave him his new toothbrush- she gave him the same kind she gives me and my husband. Not the kid kind with power rangers on the handle. Wow.
The Fiddler on the Roof soundtrack was a favorite in our house for quite a while, so with apologies to Jerry Block and Sheldon Harnick, I made up a few new verses to one of the archetypal songs about kids growing up.
To the tune of Sunrise, Sunset
When did he turn into a big kid?
He has outgrown his jeans AGAIN!
One minute he’s my little muffin,
Now he’s TEN!
When did he get to be so smelly?
When did his language get so crude?
What will it take to teach him
Not to be so rude?
When did he get to be so hairy?
Is that a pimple on his face?
Don’t know when I became
This big dis-grace.
When did he get to be so thoughtful?
When did he learn to be so kind?
Who knew the heart that would be bursting
Would be mine?
Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset
Swiftly flow the years
One season following another
Laden with happiness and tears…
How about you? What ‘unofficial’ signs of growth and maturity have you observed in your kids? I know this post is very boy-centric, so I’d love to hear from moms of girls what you have noticed.
What verses would you add to my adaptation of Sunrise, Sunset?
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